My Second Home Birth Caught Me By Surprise
The moment I found out I was pregnant (again!), I knew I wanted to have another home birth. My first birth was truly a dream, and I could only hope that the second one would be the same. But I also knew that, ultimately, how a birth goes is out of our control. After all, biology isn’t perfect. I’ve seen several friends plan a home or unmedicated birth, but when the day came, neither ended up happening.
But there’s one thing we can control…
Whether or not a home birth was in my future, I knew I could stay healthy to minimize the risk of complications — no matter where they may occur. And so I did just that.
Fast-forward nine months, and I’m happy to report that I had another beautiful home birth, and I’m ready to share the story. I hope you find it educational, uplifting, and inspiring.
A Quick Summary of My Second Pregnancy
A few days after I found out I was pregnant, I started to feel intense emotions bubbling inside of me. I’m generally a stoic person, so it was unusual for me to feel so…emotional. More than anything, I felt anger. I remember texting my husband and telling him how angry I felt, and we both typed at the exact same time… “It must be a girl!” Sure enough, we found out a few weeks later that it was a girl!
First trimester
In my first pregnancy, I felt pretty even-keeled. But this one was different. My emotions were heightened throughout the first and second trimesters. I even found myself getting angry at my dogs — and anyone who knows me knows just how much I love my German Shepherds. Yet suddenly, they felt like a nuisance. I just couldn’t handle having to take care of them.
Yet these heightened emotions served a purpose. I became more introspective, digging into the many unprocessed feelings bubbling up from previous moments in my life. I remember realizing that much of the anger I felt I was told, as a child, to suppress — that I was not allowed to feel that way. So I suppressed it. And now, those emotions were resurfacing. My body and mind were finally ready to process and release them before I brought new life into the world.
Despite the intense emotions swirling around the first two trimesters, physically, I felt great. Just like my first birth, I had no nausea in the first trimester and was able to continue my life as it was pre-pregnancy. I continued to work, lift, dance, and go for walks every day. Of course, I did have some fatigue in the first trimester, but it was manageable so long as I ate and slept well.
Second trimester
Once the second trimester rolled around, the fatigue let up and my energy bounced back. As I did in the first trimester, I continued to work, dance, and weight train. The extra weight my pregnant body was carrying forced me to dance and lift weights with less intensity, as expected. But it was a nice opportunity to slow down and focus on the smaller details that otherwise get pushed to the back burner. In dance class, for example, rather than focusing most of the time on the physical aspects, my teacher and I spent more time correcting and perfecting my facial expressions for the various dance items I’d learned pre-pregnancy. Similarly, for weight training, I focused on perfecting my form for various exercises rather than adding additional weight.
Pilates took a front seat in my weekly training schedule. So much so that, when I was around 13 weeks pregnant, I enrolled in a 6-month Pilates teacher training program. I was eager to get certified, so I could talk and write about it more confidently. The course ended up being really intense, having me do Pilates almost every day! In hindsight, this helped me immensely because I was able to bounce back postpartum relatively quickly (more on that later).
Third trimester
My third trimester was similar to my second. I had good energy, so I continued to do all of my physical activities and work. It was only in the last couple of weeks that I really started to slow down. I was starting to feel heavy, and as a result, I took my workouts and practices down another notch. I knew it was finally that time of pregnancy when my mind and body were preparing me for labor. Getting ample rest would be super important for a smooth labor and fourth trimester, which was just around the corner!
I Expected Her to Be Early
My first birth was 10 days early, so I was sure that my daughter would also be 1 to 2 weeks early. Her due date was April 15, but I was mentally prepared to go into labor by the end of March or the first week of April. Yet the first week of April came and there was no hint of labor.
My due date was just days away, and I was honestly shocked I still didn’t have the baby!
Two days before my due date, my husband wanted to go to dinner, knowing we wouldn’t be going out to eat together for a few weeks once the baby was born. I accepted his request and the three of us went to have a marvelous dinner at a local New Orleans restaurant. We all went to bed early that night with full and happy bellies.
How Labor Finally Started
That same evening, I woke up at 11pm with period-like cramps in my lower abdomen. I didn’t think much of it, shut my eyes, and dozed off back to sleep. Then, about an hour later, it happened again. I took a few deep breaths to allow the cramps to pass and fell right back to sleep.
But it kept happening.
Every 45 minutes to an hour, there were more cramps, on-and-off all night long. I then woke up at 6am to get started with my day. My husband and son were sound asleep, and I didn’t want to wake them. I knew it would be a LONG day ahead 😉
Working Through the Contractions… One by One
It goes without saying that I canceled my morning dance class and skipped my morning dog walk! I didn’t want to go too far from home, just in case today was the day. Instead, I decided to go for a short 10-minute walk around the block as I worked through the contractions. I made one round and felt pretty good. My husband and son were still sleeping, so I made a second round, and then a third round.
I texted my doula and told her what was happening. I then called my midwife to tell her to be prepared. I could feel the excitement in the air!
After my walk, the contractions started getting a little more intense. But they were still manageable, and I was able to talk through them. I quickly threw together breakfast for my son and headed to my bedroom to shower. I walked in and saw that my husband and son were awake and babbling to each other. I greeted them good morning and told my husband what was happening. “Oh!” he responded in a pensive yet excited manner.
I asked him to go buy me some coconut water and electrolytes because I knew I would need them, especially if it turned out to be a long day of labor. I also had a huge craving for freshly ground peanut butter from Whole Foods, so I asked him to buy me that too!
They Began to Intensify
He left around 8:30 am — right around the time my contractions started to grow more intense. I took a warm shower, fed my son his breakfast, and spent the next hour in the backyard with my son.
Every time a contraction came on, I got up, grabbed a chair, and leaned over to breathe through it. My son kept looking at me. He had no idea what was going on.
Around 9:30 am, I realized I still hadn’t eaten breakfast. I was waiting for my husband to get home from the market, so I could make that peanut butter and jelly sandwich I was craving — but he was nowhere to be found!
As my hunger intensified, I texted my husband to come home quickly. Then, I told my doula to start making her way over because the contractions were growing more uncomfortable.
My husband finally came back home around 10:15 am. I grabbed the peanut butter, made myself a sandwich, and gobbled it down with a warm quart of milk with honey. I had to pause twice in the middle of eating to work through contractions, but I finished it nonetheless!
Boy, did that hit the spot!
By 10:45am, I was scarfing down the last bite just as my doula’s car pulled into the driveway. Just as she walked in the door, an intense contraction came on. She saw me leaning against the couch, barely able to make eye contact. She immediately put counter-pressure on my back to help me get through the feeling. Those 60 seconds felt like forever, but I made it through. Phew!
After that contraction, I had the urge to be alone. I knew they would get much more intense. I walked into the master bedroom, and my doula followed me.
The Transition
Shortly afterward, my doula stepped out to call my midwife. That was a good call — As soon as she walked back into the bedroom, another wave came gushing through me. It was even more intense than the last one. This time, the only way I was able to get through it was to be LOUD.
I started roaring and crying at the same time. My toddler and husband heard me from the kitchen and walked in while I was in the middle of the contraction. My toddler had no idea what was happening. He thought something was wrong and started crying. He wanted to help me so badly, but I really needed space, and gently pushed him away. My husband then held onto him as I got through the contraction.
After getting through that one, I started to doubt whether I could do several more hours of this. I just started labor, and it was already so intense. “How the heck can I handle several more hours of this?” I thought.
But my doula knew better. “Bear down for the next one,” she said as she examined me down there. Within a minute, the next wave started coming on, and I had no choice but to bear down. My body NEEDED to bear down because I felt such intense pressure down there. I screamed at the top of my lungs in pain. “You’re doing everything right; your body was made to do this,” my doula said.
“I can’t. I can’t.” I cried.
“You were made for this,” she reassured me.
My water breaks!
I somehow mustered the courage to ride the tidal wave and then suddenly felt a gush of water. “My water broke?” I asked.
“It sure did,” she replied.
My water breaking gave me a huge sense of relief. All that pressure was suddenly gone, at least momentarily.
“It may get more intense now,” she said.
With my first son, my water broke 5 hours before my son was out. So I figured there was still a while to go. As I was gathering myself together and convincing myself to keep going, I overheard my doula telling my husband something about a “head” as she examined me. I was in disbelief. “There’s no way we are that close?” I thought.
“You will feel like you are tearing in two for the next one,” she said. I was getting nervous, so I paused to take a few deep breaths while I waited for the next contraction to come on. As soon as it came on, it took my breath away. I gasped for air. But I immediately knew that holding my breath would make things worse, so I forced myself to take deep breaths.
My doula was right. The wave was so intense that I literally felt like my body was being ripped apart in half. I screamed at the top of my lungs and pushed through the feeling.
“The head is out!” my doula said.
“OH WOW, WHAT??!!” my husband responded in disbelief, and he looked on the floor.
“The next contraction, your baby will be here,” my doula said.
As soon as those words came out of her mouth, I felt the next one coming on. Once again, I roared on top of my lungs and pushed as hard as I could. I then felt the body slip through my pelvis and there she was!! Right in front of my eyes. 🥺
She’s Here!
I was honestly in disbelief. I looked at my husband and smiled. He looked into my eyes and responded, “You did it, babe… Wow.”
The whole thing happened so fast that we didn’t even have time to fill up the tub so that I could birth in the water as originally planned. She was ready to get out of there as quickly as she could!
As I sat by my bed in a squatted position, my doula quickly examined the baby and then handed me the phone. My midwife had been listening on the phone the whole time! I heard her voice reassure me that I did great, and that she’d be here in 15 to 20 minutes.
I stayed on the floor holding my baby until my midwife showed up. Once she arrived, they helped me and our baby onto the bed so we could check vitals and begin post-birth care.
I then spent the next several hours delivering the placenta, getting a checkup, cleaning myself up, doing a sitz bath, breastfeeding, and eating a well-deserved lunch, all the while enjoying lots of skin-to-skin with my new baby girl.,
The Birth of My Dreams
I am thankful that God gifted me another home birth of my dreams. While I didn’t have expectations of how exactly I wanted this birth to go, I’m so happy with it. It happened much faster than I anticipated. I was in active labor for less than an hour, and my doula delivered the baby instead of my midwife.
How funny and beautiful 🙂
Recovering Postpartum
Of course, labor is just one small part of having a baby. What comes next (i.e., the postpartum) can sometimes be more challenging than labor itself.
Since I was very active throughout my pregnancy, my body recovered quickly. I felt ready to go for short walks from day four onwards. Around ten days, my body felt good enough to do gentle yoga. Then, around the four-week mark, I started incorporating Pilates as my daily workout.
Finally, at six weeks, I started dancing again.
Unlike last time, when it took me four to six weeks to feel strong again in my pelvis and core, this time, it took just a week of conditioning to feel strong again. All of that hard work during my Pilates certification course paid off — I’d unintentionally strengthened my core a LOT, making postpartum recovery that much smoother.
Parting Thoughts
Regardless of where you are on your motherhood journey, I just want you to know that birth doesn’t have to be scary or a black box. Our bodies were truly made to do this. Birth can be simple and straightforward if you let it be. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
If you have any questions, I would love to hear from you in the comments.
You can also check out some of my other blog posts on pregnancy and postpartum below:
