My First Home Birth: Navigating Back Labor

A whole 18 months after my first home birth, I’m finally putting pen to paper and sharing my birth story. Better late than never, right? 🙂 This post will be a stream of consciousness, and I hope it serves as an uplifting tale for expectant moms considering a home birth. Looking back, I wish I had read more birth stories myself. They help build confidence, dispel fears, and create a positive mindset as you prepare for your own unique birthing experience.

So, without further ado, let’s dive right in!

A Quick Glimpse Into My Pregnancy

I was lucky to have a smooth pregnancy with no complications or typical symptoms. Aside from some nausea in the first trimester and increased tiredness in the third, I felt great.

Since I didn’t experience the usual pregnancy symptoms, I managed to stay active throughout. I continued dancing, lifting weights, practicing yoga, and walking a lot.

As for nutrition, I already followed a healthy diet before pregnancy, so I stuck to it. My favorite book on pregnancy nutrition is Real Food For Pregnancy. After reading it, I felt reassured that I was doing everything right (e.g., not avoiding “high-risk” foods which are actually very healthy during pregnancy).

Approaching The Last Few Weeks

As I neared the end of my third trimester, my body and mind began to naturally slow down. This was quite unusual for me, as I’m someone who always likes to be busy. Surprisingly, I found myself content with just relaxing and taking things at a slower pace. For instance, I rarely take warm baths, but I started indulging in long, soothing soaks. My husband was amazed to hear that I spent 45 minutes in the tub! 😉

Incorporating massages into my weekly routine also became a delightful addition.

Sudden Low Back Pain

One day, out of nowhere, I started experiencing low back pain. It was a subtle, constant nagging sensation in my lower back – something I had never felt before.

I didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just a pregnancy-related ache. So, I took it easy that day to give my body some rest.

I decided to have dinner early and call it a night. But as I was getting ready for bed, my low back pain suddenly worsened. The pain became so uncomfortable that I didn’t want to move.

All I wanted was to lie down, but the discomfort was too intense to sleep through. From 10pm to 11pm, I tried desperately to find a position that would alleviate the pain, but nothing worked.

I told my husband what was happening, and he suggested calling my midwife. She listened to my concerns and advised me to take a soothing bath to relieve the pain and get some rest.

Get some rest?! How?! By this point, I could barely move due to the discomfort. I had no idea how to relax through the intense sensations in my back.

She then recommended calling my doula for help, so I did.

Accepting The Reality

I called my doula and told her everything that was happening.

“Do you have an app to time your contractions?” she asked.

“Contractions??” I responded in disbelief.

“Yes. Contractions,” she reassured.

She explained that some women can have low back contractions, which seemed to be what I was experiencing. I asked if she could come to help me work through these contractions. Unfortunately, she was busy with another birth and couldn’t come over.

After our call, I contacted my midwife again. I told her about my conversation with my doula and how I was timing my contractions but couldn’t find any pattern. The sensations would last for several minutes, followed by a short break before starting again. I was confused about what was going on. Was I in labor? This wasn’t what I expected labor to feel like.

My midwife reassured me that everything was fine and to call her right away if my water broke or anything major happened.

I worked through the on-and-off back contractions for the next two hours. It was just me and my husband. I moved from the floor to the toilet to the bed, trying to find relief.

Every time a new wave came, I felt immobilized. I’d read about moving through contractions, but I had no desire to move. It seemed like moving would make it worse.

The sensations grew stronger. I started sweating through my clothes and stripped down to just a t-shirt. I vaguely remember making loud noises, but it happened without much conscious awareness. My body had taken over and was doing whatever it needed to endure.

My Water Breaks

After laboring for a few hours, I suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom. To my surprise, I saw a gush of water coming down.

“Did my water just break?” I wondered.

I hurried to tell my husband. We both called our midwife, and FINALLY, she believed I was in labor. She said she’d head over right away and asked my husband to prepare the birthing pool.

My husband dashed outside to set up the pool, but to his dismay, the hose wouldn’t reach the bedroom. Our midwife had advised us to practice setting up the pool beforehand, but we never got around to it. Lesson learned! 😉

No worries, though. We had a large tub that would work just fine.

My midwife arrives

At around 4am, my midwife arrived with her team. Finally!

She found me on the bathroom floor, moaning and agonizing in our bedroom. She asked if I wanted to get into the bathtub, but I had no desire to move. The only position that felt good in that moment was a child’s pose, right there on the floor.

As my moaning grew louder, my body twisted and turned, seeking relief from the intense sensations in my back. I started screaming in pain, fighting the contractions.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to push, hoping it would bring some relief. For the next hour, I tried pushing without success. In hindsight, it was too early. I turned to my midwife and yelled, “How the heck do women do this multiple times??”

My midwife and birth assistant were incredibly gentle and knew exactly what to say at each moment. They helped me reframe my thoughts about the experience and guided me through it. Noticing that I was tensing up, they strongly suggested I get into the tub.

Finally, I listened to them and got in the tub.

Water to the rescue

Getting into the water felt amazing. “What on earth was I doing on the floor this whole time?!” I wondered.

Being in water allowed me to lean into the contractions rather than fight them. This helped me dilate further. It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t expect it to be.

The contractions became more consistent, lasting a minute and then stopping for a few. I took advantage of the brief moments of relief before the next one arrived.

After about an hour, I felt the urge to push again. This time, it was real. They saw the crown of the head and reassured me that I was nearing the finish line.

I remember thinking, “The head isn’t even out yet. How is this the finish line?”

But they were right. All the work I had done for the last 8 hours was to get me here. This was the finale.

Within 5-6 intense pushes, his head emerged, and the rest of his body quickly followed.

Pure bliss. I couldn’t believe it. They placed the baby on my chest, and I lay there in awe. It was surreal to see this little miracle that I had created.

A few minutes later, my midwife reminded me that I still had to deliver the placenta. I was in disbelief. I’d completely forgotten about it and couldn’t imagine pushing again.

But somehow, I managed to push it out, and it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. They cleaned me up, helped me onto my bed, checked the baby’s vitals and weight, and stitched up some minor tearing in no time.

By then, the cord stopped pulsing so it was time to cut the cord!

It has been 12 hours since labor started and we were all ready for a nap! My midwives prepared breakfast for me, stayed a few more hours to ensure we felt settled, and then left my husband, newborn, and me to rest and bond together.

Shiva was born

And there you have it. That’s the story of how Shiva was born.

I hope this story inspires those who dream of a home birth. Remember, our bodies are designed for childbirth, with generations of wisdom encoded in our DNA. It’s our job to tap into that knowledge rather than fight or ignore it.

If you’re nervous, I highly recommend reading positive birth stories to expand your mind on what’s possible. In today’s world, where birth is often treated like a hospital procedure rather than a sacred ritual, it can be challenging. Fortunately, many moms have shared their birth stories online, in books, and on podcasts. Read them. Listen to them. Absorb them. Most importantly, believe in yourself.

As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments!