23 Lessons I Learned in 2023

Every year is an opportunity to grow, try different things, and become a better version of yourself. Since the new year is approaching, it gave me a good reason to look back on the past year and reflect on the valuable lessons I learned along the way. These 23 lessons I learned are in no particular order. Enjoy!

1. Heal your nervous system

Marriage and motherhood motivated me to address the emotional baggage I had built up during my childhood and adolescent years. I explored different healing modalities (e.g., tapping, acupuncture, traditional therapy, etc.). While they worked, they had their limitations. Last year, I discovered the concept of Somatic healing and was intrigued. After working with a Somatic healing professional, I now believe this is how healing should be done.

But wait…what is Somatic healing?

In essence, it believes that trauma is an experience that was overwhelming for the nervous system to cope with. When this happens, the nervous system gets stuck or locked into survival states like fight, flight, shutdown, freeze, or fawn. The nervous system speaks via emotions, feelings, and sensations, rather than thoughts, words, or cognition. This means we cannot talk or think our way out of stuckness. We have to feel the stuckness in our body and experience the sensations of trauma through our body and nervous system until we can return to a regulated state (i.e., rest and digest mode). In short, somatic healing shows (rather than tells) the body and nervous system that we are safe.

Feeling is healing.

To me, Somatic healing makes a lot of sense. It also explains why movement is such a powerful way to relieve anxiety and depression. By moving our bodies, we become more present in them, allowing us to feel instead of think through our emotions. By feeling the sensations arising in the body as we move, we can finally let go and discharge the emotions trapped there.

Movement is healing.

I think Somatic healing will continue to gain traction in the coming years. It may be niche today, but it will grow.

2. Low carb was a bad idea

Like most people, I hopped on the “low carb” diet trend that swept through the health and fitness world 5-7 years ago. At first, it was fantastic. I didn’t feel the need to nap after lunch, staying lean was a breeze, and I felt energized.

But after two years, things took a turn. I was constantly tired, more anxious than usual, and my fasting glucose levels were consistently high. It was a clear sign that my body was under stress, and my vitality was slipping away.

That’s when I began tracking my meals and discovered that I was eating less than 100 grams of carbs a day while relying on high-fat meals for fuel. Yet, I lead an active lifestyle – lifting weights, dancing, walking, and raising a child. My diet and active lifestyle did not align.

The body’s preferred energy source is carbs, which are broken down into glucose. Glucose is the primary fuel for our cells, tissues, and organs. By eating low carb, I was forcing my body to work overtime, converting fat into energy for my workouts and daily life. This added unnecessary and chronic stress on my body.

Over the past year, I increased my carb intake and reduced my fat consumption. Within weeks, my energy and vitality returned. In a couple of months, my fasting glucose levels dropped. Most importantly, my sleep became more restorative.

Low carb diets may be suitable for short periods or for those who are metabolically unhealthy (e.g., overweight or obese individuals) or less active, but they’re not necessary for optimal health. As long as you’re eating enough protein each day, carbs won’t harm you.

3. Being a mom is the most important job in the world

I’ve heard people say this for years, but it took me a while to truly believe it. Even after having my son, I didn’t fully accept it. However, after about a year of being a mother, it finally sunk in. Motherhood is the most important job in the world. How many children are out there without good mothers, ending up on the wrong path? How much better would the world be if everyone had great mothers (and parents)?

Even if I accomplish nothing else in a day, it doesn’t matter. I am a mother, and that is enough. Each day, I am shaping a human being who will one day venture into the real world. My job is to provide him with all the resources, knowledge, and love he needs to reach his fullest potential. That is a BIG job.

4. You lose yourself in motherhood only to find your true self

After becoming a mother, I found myself working less and less. Suddenly, work seemed less important compared to spending time with my baby. However, I also felt like I was losing a part of my identity because work had always been a significant aspect of my life. I struggled to embrace life without work being the primary goal and purpose.

Sometimes, we have to wonder and feel lost to discover big insights. Going through this period of feeling lost allowed me to merge my new life with my old skills and experiences, ultimately charting a fresh path for myself.

5. Being a mom makes you way more efficient

I can now accomplish the same amount of work in 2 hours that used to take me 4 hours or longer. As a mom, I know that the days of having 8 hours to work on my projects are gone. When my fingers finally hit the keyboard, I have a limited amount of time to get things done. I go into superwoman mode and can achieve SO much in as little as 45 minutes.

Being a mom puts your brain on overdrive because we constantly juggle a million tasks at once (e.g., cooking, cleaning, caring for a child, etc.). Our mental capacity expands to meet the demands of motherhood, which also makes us more efficient at work. I’m not sure if there’s research to back this up, but it’s something I’ve undeniably experienced.

6. Don’t feel guilty for seeking help with your kids

In the United States, it’s common for moms to go it alone, but in other parts of the world, like India, it’s typical to have a community around you when raising a child. As the saying goes, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

For me, seeking help was a no-brainer. Why struggle alone? There’s no grand award waiting at the end of my parenting journey for doing everything myself.

From the moment my son was born, I’ve always had help at home, whether it was from family or someone I hired. This support allows me to continue doing the things I love, like dancing, fitness, and writing, while still spending quality time with my baby.

Moreover, having help around gives me time to recharge, so I can be more present and happy with my kids, instead of constantly worrying about the endless list of tasks I need or want to accomplish.

7. Don’t give parenting advice unless asked

There are so many things I thought I’d do as a parent that I don’t, and vice versa. We don’t truly understand parenting until we become parents ourselves. Even then, each family situation is unique, and there are multiple “right” ways to parent. There’s really no need to judge or offer parenting advice when we don’t know the circumstances of each individual. If a parent asks, then go ahead and give parenting advice. Otherwise, just keep your mouth shut.

8. The hardest part of being a parent is letting go

Watching your child grow and blossom from a little sack of potatoes into a real human being is both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. For instance, I was feeding my toddler the other day, and he refused to eat. I handed him the spoon, and he devoured the entire bowl of meatballs. All he wanted was some independence to eat on his own, without mommy hovering over him. It was a beautiful moment to see him finish the food by himself, but I must admit, it’s tough to let go of this baby who once relied on you for everything. Each day, they become more capable and independent, and all you can do is look at them and love them for the amazing individuals they’re becoming.

9. I missed writing

As you know, I recently started a new blog at FitPreethi.com, where I’ve been publishing a post every week. Getting back into writing consistently has reminded me how much I truly missed it. Writing is more than just putting words on a page – it’s thinking, reasoning, and clarifying your thoughts. Above all, writing is empowering because you can reach people all around the world with your words.

Writing comes naturally to me, as I’m a deep thinker. However, there have been times in my life when other priorities took over, and I stopped writing. I’m so glad to be back at it now.

10. Play the long game

When I decided to launch this blog, many people told me blogging was dead. I didn’t care. Writing as a form of expression will always exist. Sure, a blog might not garner as much engagement as a YouTube video or Instagram Reel, since social media platforms tend to prioritize them. But that doesn’t mean people have stopped reading altogether. Intellectual individuals still read. Reading is the quickest way to absorb information, and any smart person knows that. Why should I simplify my content into bite-sized videos to cater to an audience with short attention spans? If having a blog means I reach a more intellectual audience, then that’s awesome! The slow and steady growth I gain from writing allows me to focus on the long game, rather than chasing fleeting attention.

11. Toddlers are hilarious

I always knew children were cute and silly, but I never realized just how hilarious toddlers could be. Their rapidly developing brains aren’t quite mature yet, leading them to do the silliest things that seem to make sense in their heads, but not so much in reality.

Now I understand why children can be so healing – they make you laugh, and laughter is truly healing.

12. Children act differently when their mothers are around

Shiva will be completely content and playing leisurely, but the moment he sees me enter the room, he starts whining and complaining because he wants my attention right away. If I don’t pick him up and give him the attention he desires, he just keeps on complaining.

He’s been doing this ever since he was a little baby. As soon as I step into the room, he lets out the “mommy cry.”

I’ve read that children sometimes behave differently around their mothers if they have a secure attachment with them. Since a child spends a significant amount of time with their mother, they feel more confident when she is present. This allows them to relax and freely express their emotions.

Also, children simply want their mothers to give them endless attention, and that’s totally understandable 🙂

13. Toddlers have big emotions

Toddlers may be small, but their emotions are huge. As parents, our job is to hold space for those big feelings. To us, they might seem silly or insignificant, but to them, they’re not. Thankfully, toddler emotions are fleeting, and they rarely get “stuck” in an emotional state. Once you hold space for their emotions by acknowledging their feelings and offering love, they usually bounce back.

However, this also means that we, as adults, need the emotional capacity to hold space for their emotions, rather than joining them on the emotional roller coaster. That’s why I believe it’s crucial to regulate our nervous systems, nourish ourselves with nutrient-rich foods, and get enough sleep. It helps us build our emotional capacity.

14. I have a knack for baking

I started baking for my husband in 2020 when we found ourselves stuck at home, searching for creative hobbies. At first, my baking was minimal – just cookies or banana bread a few times a month. I didn’t spend much time on it or think much of it. 

But as time went on, I started to really enjoy the process and began baking more frequently. It seemed like no matter what I made, my friends and family loved it. I discovered I had a natural knack for baking.

Initially, I used modern baking methods, but lately, I’ve been experimenting with traditional baking methods such as longer fermentation. Now, whether I’m making cookies, bread, muffins, or anything else, I use sourdough starter and let it ferment overnight. This not only makes the grains easier to digest but also increases their nutrient content. Additionally, I’ve been trying out more whole grains instead of refined ones. However, fermentation and whole grains do change the texture and consistency of baked goods, so I’m constantly tweaking my recipes to get them just right!

15. Women can’t have it all

My mom was a first-generation immigrant. She had no choice but to work to make ends meet, and she raised me with the belief that I would need to do the same. We didn’t have wealth or assets to fall back on, so I grew up achievement-oriented. I never considered any other option but to work, and I loved it because it allowed me to discover my passions and interests.

It wasn’t until I entered the tech space that I encountered the “female empowerment” narrative – the idea that women can have it all: a thriving career, a happy family, good health, and lots of friendships. This message didn’t resonate with me, so I didn’t promote it.

After becoming a mother, I now know for sure that women can’t have it all. It’s impossible to have a thriving career, a happy family, good health, and lots of time with friends at the same time. I can’t devote myself to my child while working, and I can’t work when I’m focused on my child. But that’s okay. Our time on this planet is finite, which means we can’t have or do everything we want at once. We must choose what matters most to us in a particular season of life, and these sacrifices make our choices special.

Motherhood is the most important job in the world, and if that means I have to scale back my work hours, I’m okay with that. With the limited time I have each day to work, I’ve learned to be prioritize the most important tasks and be more efficient in completing them.

16. Inflation is real

I’ve been reading and writing about inflation for a decade, and it’s one of the main reasons I got into crypto. But honestly, I never truly felt the effects of inflation myself, until now.

Food prices have skyrocketed, and everything just costs so much more in 2023 compared to pre-2021. The same dollar I earned a couple of years ago doesn’t have the same value. As is typical with inflation, wages don’t catch up until much later, so we end up struggling for a while until they do.

It’s strange to experience something firsthand that I’ve only read about in history books. It gives you a different perspective on it, for better or worse.

17. It’s not wrong to set boundaries with family members

Setting boundaries with family can be really tough. However, I’ve come to realize that it’s not only okay, but sometimes necessary. We might feel rude or selfish to set boundaries with family, but it is not. If we simply don’t have the emotional capacity to handle a family member as much as they’d like, that’s alright. Accept that is where you are right now and just be respectful when you set the boundaries. Otherwise, you may end up growing resentful of that family member, which is not what you want.

Moreover, the boundaries we set don’t need to be permanent; they’re temporary measures that give us time and space to increase our emotional capacity. Eventually, we can reach a point where we can have that family member around without it affecting our emotional well-being.

18. Being fit and being fertile are not the same

During my journey of recovering from hypothalamic amenorrhea, I realized that many health and fitness influencers, who look fantastic on the outside, may not be as healthy on the inside. For instance, having 6-pack abs might seem badass for women, but most women don’t thrive with such low body fat. Many women in the fitness industry with unrealistic bodies are actually sacrificing their fertility and mental health for it.

For women to thrive and be fertile, they need adequate body fat and nutrition (i.e., calories). The female body is designed to reproduce when there’s an abundance of energy. It wouldn’t make sense biologically for it to reproduce when it thinks it’s starving.

That’s why, historically, curves on a woman were considered a positive attribute. A curvier woman is more fertile and capable of bearing more children.

19. Read the Bible

I started reading the Bible this year. I am Hindu but it was one of my personal goals to read the Bible. There are so many timeless lessons in the Bible and anyone, regardless of religion, can benefit from reading it.

Reading the Bible opened my eyes to the universality of human experiences, wisdom, and values that transcend any single religion.

20. Our parents did the best they could

A big part of healing is understanding your childhood. Initially, I felt resentment and disappointment towards my parents for not providing the emotional support I needed as a child. However, after deeply reflecting on their circumstances when I was young, I came to understand that they did the best they could with the knowledge and resources available to them. This realization allowed me to forgive, rather than resent, my parents. It helped me rekindle the deep love I had for them, just like when I was a child.

21. If it’s a maybe, it’s a NO

Over the past year, I’ve interviewed many people for various roles, such as nannies, dog sitters, lawn mowers, and online gig helpers. In the tech world, there’s a famous quote: “If it’s not a heck yes, it’s a no.”

I applied this principle in tech settings, but I didn’t use it when hiring people for my home. Consequently, I made a few bad hires and wasted my time and energy.

So, here’s my biggest lesson from these hiring mistakes: if you plan to work with someone, even for a short period, remember that if it’s a maybe, it’s definitely a NO. Every single time.

22. No is a full sentence

Nothing else to say 🙂

23. Go with the flow

Before having a child, I never truly appreciated seasons. Being single allowed me to have a consistent and predictable daily routine. But oh, how that changes with children! Every day is a new adventure, and you just have to go with the flow. Kids go through so many phases, and you’re constantly adapting to each one. At first, I struggled with this fluidity, but over the past year, I’ve learned to genuinely embrace and enjoy it. I still maintain my routines and schedule, but there’s a little bit of fluidity and room for error in my day.

Conclusion

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking around 🙂 Did you enjoy reading it? Let me know in the comments so I know if I should do it again next year 🙂

What life lessons did you learn this past year? I’d love to hear from you!